Millions of people world wide are using SBS with ISA in an identical setup and none of them are having this issue.
This will require analyzing to a level that is just not possible with Forum Messages on a web site. You need to get MS Support SBS Premium & ISA on the phone. They are the only ones going to be able to analyze this the way it needs to be.
You d realize that you "router" is just a NAT-based Firewall and is redundant? Meaning that it is not needed? You can throw it out and the ISA will be the "router" and it is a much higher quality Firewall Product than a simply $80 NAT device is ever going to be (in spite of it running on SBS).